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Till death do us part?

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The other night while Josh and I were sharing a bottle box of wine he asked me a question...
"Why do you think people break up?" 

At the time I told him, "I'm not really sure... I feel like there are so many different reasons for different people."

Communication is important but that's what everyone says, isn't it? I thought about it a little more and then I told him, "Maybe people don't know who they are or exactly what they want. But they get married anyways and then they realize later that things have changed. That they have changed."

Josh told me he thinks people forget why they were infatuated with that person in the first place. And he added, "People just give up too easily."

With our wedding coming sometime in 2015 (nothing is scheduled yet but that's what we're shooting for!) it's no surprise that these things are on our minds. And while no one wants to think about the D word, divorce has become a reality of the world we live in and dare I even say... a normality?

photo source: foodchannel.com
Do you know they make divorce cakes now?! I mean I love cake just as much as the next person but COME ON MAN.

I grew up with divorced parents but I feel like one of the lucky ones. My parents split when I was two years old and I don't remember it. To me, them being divorced is normal. It's all I've ever known. I'm also lucky enough that my family has stayed close physically and we all get together for family events. I have a little brother and sister from my dad and step-mom, a large extended family and I'm grateful for all of the love they all bring me!

But of course it still comes with its challenges and hard times. There have been plenty of awkward moments over the years, not-so civil times and some yelling fights for sure. But as I sit here writing this now, I wouldn't change my family if I could. We are who we are and we can't change the past. I'm excited to see my entire family grow... see my hilarious little brother grow into a hilarious man, my dad and Ginger grow old together, my youngest and toughest sister become her own person, my mom find her life love, my sister Devon accomplish more than humanly possible. To me, everything does happen for a reason... even my parent's divorce.

Recently, there has been a social shift where people are waiting to marry, cohabiting prior to marriage and even refusing to marry at all. I remember when I was in college I always said I didn't want to get married. And now look at me... foot in mouth. The thought of getting married and then possibly getting divorced was always something that weighed on me and I thought about it a lot. I didn't want to end up like my parents. Not that I think they did anything wrong, per say, I just knew it was a heartache I didn't want to suffer.

Now that I am here with Josh, wearing this promise to him on my finger and staring at this little human we made... I know 100% in my heart that marriage is for me. It is for us. And I can't wait to be his wife.


It really was an easy decision. I knew when I met him that he was different. I told one of my closest friends less than 24 hours after meeting him that I had this feeling about him... like he was going to be important in my life. Little did I know only a mere weeks later that important thing was already growing in my belly. Ahhhh, life... you clever little minx.

For me, love has always been a gut feeling. An emotion, not a thought. I think that is why I waited so long before getting into a relationship. I never felt that feeling with anyone until I found Josh... or did he find me? And maybe... I wasn't ready for that kind of love all those years before. If I had met Josh a year or two earlier we may not be where we are today. In the end, I feel really lucky to have found my one and thank the stars every day for leading us to each other.

Now when I think about marriage I think about a commitment to the person who knows me best... my partner in life instead of a terrifying promise on a piece of paper that's bound to crumble at any second. It's a mutual respect and understanding that we're in this for the long haul... no matter what may come. I think about us old and wrinkly with white hair sprouting from our ears and so many grandchildren we can't remember all of their names. I think about the ruts that are bound to come and how we can navigate through them... how we can remain honest with each other even when we might be embarrassed or scared to say how we feel. I think about our children growing up and learning from our love for each other and for them.

We all are different in how we love, when we love, who we love... even why we love. But we all love. And while divorce has been on a bit of a rampage in this country... I think long and loving relationships, even marriages, are making a comeback.

Are you all throwing up from too many feelings???


Only Ron Burgandy can say it so perfectly.

Here's to you and your found loves, your future loves and your forever loves.

Cheers,


8 comments:

  1. This is beautiful and I absolutely loved reading it!

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  2. This, of course, gave me a very happy heart. Yay for marriage and love :) hehe

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  3. People might think that talking about divorce before getting married is not a good sign. But I have to agree with you. In this day and age, everything can happen, and that includes divorce becoming an option to many. So discussing it and determine the possible causes may help you prevent it from happening in the future.

    Lora Steele @ Youd Law

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    1. If you haven't noticed already, I don't hold much back on the blog ;) My parents have been divorced since I was two years old so of course it's something I think about often when marriage is the topic of conversation. For me, it's a forever thing!

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  4. Achieving the best relationship is brought about by being open to each other about every possibility that may come at you. Talking about divorce maybe awkward to some couples, but it is a must in order for you to be strengthened and covered by love and trust. Also, talking about the negative effects of divorce may help you persuade yourselves to love each other more, instead of just letting your relationship go. Common bliss and satisfaction in marriage is hard to achieve, but it is out there. In any way, thanks for sharing such a wonderful post, Lauren! I wish you all the best!

    Sandra Walker @ Eric Risk

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    1. Thanks for your comment Sandra, I couldn't agree more!

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