Communication is important but that's what everyone says, isn't it? I thought about it a little more and then I told him, "Maybe people don't know who they are or exactly what they want. But they get married anyways and then they realize later that things have changed. That they have changed."
|photo source: foodchannel.com|
I grew up with divorced parents but I feel like one of the lucky ones. My parents split when I was two years old and I don't remember it. To me, them being divorced is normal. It's all I've ever known. I'm also lucky enough that my family has stayed close physically and we all get together for family events. I have a little brother and sister from my dad and step-mom, a large extended family and I'm grateful for all of the love they all bring me!
But of course it still comes with its challenges and hard times. There have been plenty of awkward moments over the years, not-so civil times and some yelling fights for sure. But as I sit here writing this now, I wouldn't change my family if I could. We are who we are and we can't change the past. I'm excited to see my entire family grow... see my hilarious little brother grow into a hilarious man, my dad and Ginger grow old together, my youngest and toughest sister become her own person, my mom find her life love, my sister Devon accomplish more than humanly possible. To me, everything does happen for a reason... even my parent's divorce.
Now that I am here with Josh, wearing this promise to him on my finger and staring at this little human we made... I know 100% in my heart that marriage is for me. It is for us. And I can't wait to be his wife.
It really was an easy decision. I knew when I met him that he was different. I told one of my closest friends less than 24 hours after meeting him that I had this feeling about him... like he was going to be important in my life. Little did I know only a mere weeks later that important thing was already growing in my belly. Ahhhh, life... you clever little minx.
For me, love has always been a gut feeling. An emotion, not a thought. I think that is why I waited so long before getting into a relationship. I never felt that feeling with anyone until I found Josh... or did he find me? And maybe... I wasn't ready for that kind of love all those years before. If I had met Josh a year or two earlier we may not be where we are today. In the end, I feel really lucky to have found my one and thank the stars every day for leading us to each other.
Now when I think about marriage I think about a commitment to the person who knows me best... my partner in life instead of a terrifying promise on a piece of paper that's bound to crumble at any second. It's a mutual respect and understanding that we're in this for the long haul... no matter what may come. I think about us old and wrinkly with white hair sprouting from our ears and so many grandchildren we can't remember all of their names. I think about the ruts that are bound to come and how we can navigate through them... how we can remain honest with each other even when we might be embarrassed or scared to say how we feel. I think about our children growing up and learning from our love for each other and for them.
We all are different in how we love, when we love, who we love... even why we love. But we all love. And while divorce has been on a bit of a rampage in this country... I think long and loving relationships, even marriages, are making a comeback.
Are you all throwing up from too many feelings???
Only Ron Burgandy can say it so perfectly.
Here's to you and your found loves, your future loves and your forever loves.