Wednesday, July 23, 2014
So after the tub poopisode on Monday, I thought things might start looking up. I mean... Hadley has never poo'ed herself in the bathtub before so that's gotta be like my one shitstorm (no pun intended) of the week right?
This week has been absolute hell. What day is it.... WEDNESDAY?????
And to be completely honest with you, I feel like the last couple of weeks with Hadley have been really hard.
I don't know if it's because she's clingier than ever, misbehaving more than usual and getting into everything or if my fuse has just all of the sudden shrunk.. but it's been a real adjustment. And admitting that to you/anyone is so hard. Embarrassing really. As a mom, I always want to have everything together. I want Hadley to be happy and healthy, smiling and having a good time. And I want to be too. But the truth is it's not always like that.
Tonight, I was sitting in the guest bathroom giving Hadley a bath (ours still needs to be bleached...) thinking about writing this post. And praying that she didn't let any more terds fly. I was thinking about how whiny she had been today, how she spilled water all over my grandma's new computer and how she screamed like she was being attacked almost the entire way home. A good 30 minutes of earth rattling screams. I was thinking about how I can feel my blood pressure rise during those situations... I grit my teeth and want so badly to throw something into the wall as hard as I can. Talk about a temper, aye?
And then... I got Hadley out of the bath, changed her into her PJs and proceeded to fall down the stairs. With her in my arms.
Luckily, I have a huge ass.
So that broke the fall.
When it rains it pours right?
So yeah, today was shit. The last couple of weeks have been hard and I wish I could say I knew exactly why or how to fix it or how to be the best, most fun mom in the world. But I don't. And as frustrating as these moments are, I know it's okay. These things happen... none of us are perfect. Especially us moms doing the best we can with our crazy babies. The most important part is that we wake up the next day and do it all over again with a fresh perspective. Basically, today doesn't have to suck as bad as yesterday.
I took Hadley into her room tonight and read her a story. Then I laid on the floor for a little while she played. Then she came over to me and wrapped her little arms around my neck as hard as she could. She hugged me over and over for 10 minutes. And I felt immensely better. Moments like that always erase the shit in the tub and the ass plants down the stairs.
Hadley girl, no matter how bonkers you make me, I love you more than you'll ever know!
Goodnight my friends,